Janet’s Story.
Anyone who knew my Mum, knew she was a formidable and fiercely protective woman. She struck terror into anyone upsetting her family and kept my Dad in line across the many years of their marriage. As Freya will tell you, anyone trying to take the playground swings from her was in trouble.
Yet, born at home in Dulwich Road, to John and Margaret, her loving parents, she was a sweet and gentle child, rarely in trouble. She worked hard and enjoyed school, something that she later impressed on us as deeply important, always having time to guide homework and check in on how school was going.
It cannot be doubted that my Mum was a family woman through and through. Saturdays were always for her parents. Shopping, and lunch with nans pickled onions, she was a good daughter ready to lend a hand. She adored her parents, holidaying with them often, and listening to their advice carefully.
She was a fabulous sister, loving her siblings Anne, Sue, and Alan, always wanting to visit them or go out and telling stories of them growing up.
Sorting through photos, we’ve been struck by how many have them laughing and working together at birthday parties, in gardens, at weddings. I can’t imagine a more loyal sister than my Mum (sorry Gemma), she was always ready with a cake and a cup of tea to look after them where she could.
She gave us all so many memories of time with cousins, whether a zoo visit with Laura and Jenna or holidaying with Andrew and Darren at Butlins in the rain, she brought us all together.
Mum taught us the value of what a relationship should be, with her longstanding and caring marriage to my Dad. Over the years, we saw them be affectionate and kind to one another, a team against the world. They kissed in the kitchen far too often but did give us an extremely strong view of marriage.
Mum showed us what it was like to find the love of your life. Although when Cliff Richard wasn’t available, Mum always said that Dad would do.
On the Isle of Wight, she first met Steve. Mum was a stylish teen holidaying with her friends Lynda, Marie, and Mel. They relished their freedom watching the idiots with no food in a nearby caravan. She offered them a sandwich, an act that changed her whole life.
Once she realised she couldn’t get rid of Dad, they had a rich social life together, becoming deep friends with Lynda and Keith among others, watching Aston Villa play on the weekends and having a sneaky mead at castle parties, the tales of which I will forever remember Mum giggling at.
They married during the hottest summer on record, in 1976, Mum spectacular in her flowing white dress and platform heels. Over time they bought a house and decorated it, with Mum schooling Dad on just how you dig a drive out. Then she became the Mum and wife all others were in awe of.
One of her true talents was sewing, and she excelled at it. As a teen she made her own scandalous mini skirts and dresses, sending away for patterns from magazines, making notes on how to improve them along the edge, printing her name on them. Some of which remained in her possession for the rest of her life to be re-made for others as they came in and out of fashion.
Over the years she worked as a seamstress, from leather seats to clothes. But for fun she made party dresses, Halloween costumes and school play outfits, not just for her own family but for friends whose parents scandalously weren’t nimble with a needle.
Gemma's bridesmaid dresses, and her fluffy trimmed prom dress, were among her greatest hits, although I think her favourite was always the clown outfit that made Gem the talk of the school gate in Ward End. She sewed everything perfectly, all unappreciated for how much she improved our lives.
Alongside the sound of the sewing machine, many will remember her affection for music. She raised us on Motown, Herman’s Hermits and Fleetwood Mac, teaching us music we still appreciate today.
Less appealing was her long-standing devotion to Cliff, and later Michael Bublé. I’m sure many of us here today know far too many of their lyrics. Music made her happy, her excitement over the CD player and hand notated vinyl are sweet snippets of the things she found special. She often had us dance with her as she cooked.
She could sing well too. Driving and working on the house was always accompanied by her voice. Mum loved Christmas carols, in fact she cherished Christmas especially wrapping and sneaking out presents.
On Christmas day she was up early to record movies we might like on VCR, and to get the turkey ready, all so she could drink her well-deserved snowball cocktails later with her feet up.
Musicals were some of Mum’s favourites, Sound of Music always the best of all. Seeing it at the Hippodrome, she had tears of happiness streaming down her face for most of the performance. After our family visit to the Lion King in London she danced all the way to the tube station.
Mum was talented in the garden too. Everyone will know she kept her garden perfect, she had magic for making flowers bloom, from tulips and marigolds, with rhododendrons, carnations, and her beloved roses in every gorgeous colour.
Woe betides any idiot smashing them with a football. More, she was delighted to grow food to provide for us all.
No Sunday lunch was without Mum's potatoes or rhubarb and later, with Freya, her blueberries that were both of their favourites eaten straight from the bush.
Her tomatoes were always in salads, when she taught others how to grow them, she would talk of how her Mum taught her, and how the smell of them made her think of her family. We have given you all tomato seeds to grow for her, they love the sun the way she loved the sun, face upturned and always moving towards it.
Other things about Mum are not so well known. She adored a thunder and lightning storm and would happily sit watching pressed right against the window, especially in the veranda at Ward End.
In the 80s and 90s, mornings were accompanied by Mum's dedication to the aerobics of GMTV. First Lizzie and later Mr motivator, she never missed a star jump. And daily, sitting with her manicure set and face cream in the evenings, with a weekly treat of a bourbon biscuit sometimes with a pink bonus wafer.
She was a member of the community, especially helping and working at Minworth school, it’s been great to see the messages remembering her pour in.
Mums had a special relationship with Freya too. Freya’s first everything was filled with Mums delight for her, containing frequent treats, piggybacks, and hair brushing.
Freya asked me to tell you that her happiest memories were when she got to garden with Grandma, and she would dance as they worked on the corner rockery.
Following the sun was something that Mum adored. She sunbathed with her sisters, buried her brother in sand, walked the countryside with her parents. I’m sure many of you have sunny picnic memories of her in either Sutton or Kingsbury Water Park as she was always roaring laughing in summer.
Mum adored swimming on holidays in the sun, Mallorca, Portugal or Pwllheli, it didn't matter where so long as after there was a 99 and drawing wack-a-day sign in the sand.
Both Dad and Gemma’s favourite memories of Mum are in the water in the sun during their Florida holiday.
For Gemma, it was time spent in the swimming pool, playing “keepy uppy” with a ball together, Mum relaxing and watching the reflections of the water as she cooled from the heat, floating around joyously laughing.
For Dad, it was the lifetime fulfilment of her wish to swim with dolphins. Dad will never forget the contentment and peace on Mum’s face, as well as the excitement of paddling out in the salt water to meet the dolphins.
Water and music are pleasures that didn’t fade even when Mum got sick, so I will end with my favourite memory of my Mum. On the surface it wasn't a very special day, just a Saturday evening with us eating soup and cobs and watching pop idol.
Gem and I late teens, and Mum was sewing, pins held in teeth. When Mums favourite came out, he started singing and Mum jumped up and pulled Dad half asleep out of the sofa to dance, shouting that gem and I had to dance with each other. And we did, swirling around her as she laughed and shouted at the tv that he had to win and then, as the song finished, she sat and calmly started sewing again.
And I think that is the perfect depiction of my Mum, loving her family, loving her home, and always ready to take the small moments of joy that life offered.
I hope that you can take this part of my Mum from today. All her best small moments added up to a life that was well lived, loved, and respected by us all.